Do you have a pressing problem, annoying anxiety or community conundrum? Jasminda Featherlight, our resident roving Agony Aunt, is here to help. Jasminda will be responding to questions from our FOUR News Of The Area papers on a rotating basis. Send your concerns to Jasminda care of edit@mcnota.com.au and include your title, initials and suburb.

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Dear Jasminda,

I live on a battle-axe block and my neighbour drives his truck too fast up the gravel road past my house which spreads dust all over my vehicle and the exterior of my home. What can I do?
Mr LA, Medowie

Dear Mr LA,

This is just another example of a whole list of issues that fall under the category of ‘Ignorant Sod of a Neighbour’. He is probably just chilling out, listening to some lunatic on talk back radio or he’s singing along to the 80s hour, and he thinks he is on a freeway instead of a sleepy semi-rural road that shares a boundary with your freshly washed SUV, your glistening windows, and your sugar-soaped walls.

You can try the diplomatic path and approach him. Just say, “Hey mate, I was just wondering if you had noticed the dust bowl you create when you drive 60km per hour down our shared driveway? You probably didn’t. I’d really appreciate it if you slowed down a bit.”

That may not work. You may need to get a bit passive aggressive.

“Hey, buddy, the whole concept of neighbours revolves around being neighbourly. I considerately deliver your mail when it gets placed in the wrong letter box, and I considerately dodge your dog when it sits in the middle of my driveway. All you need to do is follow my lead and slow down. Thanks.”

If he’s as dumb as a hammer, you probably need to implement some road blocks. Maybe make a speed hump so he gets airborne. Some solar-powered fake cop lights? That should clarify your message. Or erect a sign that says, ‘Drive like your kids live here’ or maybe ‘Slow down, adults at play’. That should really freak him out.

I hope these suggestions work, Mr LA.

Carpe diem,
Jasminda