DEAR Jasminda,

LAST week my phone rang during the meditation part of a yoga class.

I quickly attended to it and switched it to silent (which I thought I’d already done).

One of the other yoga attendees made a big deal about it, but he falls asleep in every session and snores which I find extremely disruptive to my meditative state.

I want to have it out with him.

Should I?

Wendy M.

Dear Wendy,

Having it out with a fellow yogi doesn’t feel right.

Yoga is all about improving your state of mind (and body), not getting your knickers in a knot (though getting your body in a knot seems to be a crucial part of the process).

The poses are often as tricky to pronounce as they are to perform such as ashtavakrasana where you bend your right knee and pass your right arm underneath, then hook your right knee on your right shoulder while keeping your palms on either side of your hips then raise your left leg and cross your left ankle over your right, bending your elbows at a right angle, and keeping your chest raised.

It’s like Twister for sadomasochists.

After all the physical and mental gymnastics, the final meditation is something to look forward to, so I can understand your fellow yogi’s annoyance when he’s mentally floating down a forest stream, breathing in fresh air that smells of damp moss and pine needles, alert to the sounds of birds chirping, the stream burbling, and then he’s brought back to reality by Maria in da Club belting out from your phone, followed by you stepping across his body, tripping over a yoga bolster, your grippy socks making an annoying sucking noise on the floor boards until you reach your phone that is stored in the cubes at the entrance.

In future, leave your phone in the car.

As for his snoring, those bolsters and cushions have multiple uses.

Perhaps one could be gently placed over his face.

A bit of light pressure is sure to stop the snoring, though you’ll probably be banned from the class when your yoga teacher catches you in the mid suffocation-pose.

Namaste,
Jasminda.