DEAR Jasminda,

My son is having a birthday party and he wants to invite the whole class – that’s about 30 kids.

I don’t think I can afford a party for that many children.

Any advice?

Marissa L.

Dear Marissa,

I was just trying to envisage a pass-the-parcel for thirty children and the preparation beforehand – 29 frogs – one for each layer — before the grand unravelling of the final prize.

And then, on the day, finding out that only 28 children were attending, meaning one child would get two chocolate frogs.

This wouldn’t have been an issue years ago, but today, with the every-child-gets-the-same mentality, all hell would break loose.

It would be further heightened by the mass sugar high from kids who are used to drinking water and eating spinach and ricotta muffins, but who are now off their heads on chocolate crackles and red cordial.

Every child in the class?

What happened to the same number of children as the birthday child’s age, a two-hour maximum time limit (which always felt like seven hours) and parties every second year?

Has the world gone completely mad? (don’t answer that).

I mean how does one pin 30 tails on a donkey?

What about having to make 30 lolly bags?

Don’t get me started on the sheer logistical nightmare of dividing a cake into 30 equal slices.

And, as you rightly point out, the cost would be enormous.

I reckon you’d have to hire security with that many loose cannons taking over your home.

Even worse, what if the parents decide to hang around?

No, Marissa, you need to set the rules and the numbers.

If little Frederick is turning eight, he can have eight friends over for a party.

Soften the blow by making patty cakes for the whole class.

It is very altruistic of your son to want to invite everyone, but your sanity (and bank balance) overrides his magnanimity on this occasion.

Carpe diem,
Jasminda.