DEAR Jasminda

MY husband is completely obsessed with Taylor Swift, and plays her songs constantly in the car.

Personally I do not like Taylor Swift, and ask him to turn it off.

To this he replies, “I am expanding your musical horizons.”

However, I don’t want to ‘expand my musical horizons’.

What should I do?

Opal B.

Dear Opal,

Music is a passionate and highly-subjective subject, and Taylor Swift, I have just discovered, is a billionaire.

A billionaire!

People of all ages went into a Swifty-frenzy when she performed here.

Never had I witnessed so many otherwise calm and intelligent people pleading to do almost anything for tickets for their kids (or themselves).

Friends were glued to their computers, debating whether to refresh the screen in order to secure a night with Taylor (which seemed more unlikely as the hours passed than getting a golden ticket to gain access to Willy Wonka’s chocolate factory).

Whether she will expand your musical horizons is another matter.

‘We are never ever, ever getting back together’ is hardly up there with Nick Cave or Leonard Cohen.

Like all trends, the Taylor Swift craze will pass.

And what will we be left with?

Broken marriages by the sounds of it.

Oh, and mountains of plastic beads left over from all the Swifty friendship bracelets.

Like a dystopian Scrabble game, those LIKE*EVER and BEAUTIFUL and BREATHE beads will be reformed into LANDFILL and MICROPLASTICS and SWALLOWED*BY*A*TURTLE.

Maybe next time your husband plays the Taylor Swift song ‘Forever and Always’ you can expand his horizons and turn it into a conversation about the environmental devastation caused by millions (perhaps billions) of plastic beads.

Carpe diem,
Jasminda.