DEAR Jasminda,

After many years of hard work my husband and I have finally bought our dream home which is a waterfront in a lovely location.

A couple of months ago a long-distance friend who I haven’t seen in about 20 years sent me a message wanting to reconnect.

Now she’s sent me another message saying she’s heading our way for the summer holidays and would love to spend some quality time staying with us.

I’ve got no idea what to say.

I haven’t even met her kids.

Pauline F.

Dear Pauline,

Mmmm. If it smells like a rat and runs like a rat it’s a long-distance pseudo-friend who wants a holiday after years of no contact.

I’d imagine your friend first sealed the deal on your appeal when she was flicking through social media and saw photos of the view from your loungeroom and master bedroom.

She then did a quick Google search of your location and planned her itinerary, packed full of tours and dips in the pool (your pool).

Living in a dream home doesn’t just happen.

It takes years of sacrifice, early mornings, double shifts, discipline and having a really clear goal at the end that drives you to jump out of bed every morning, even when you don’t feel like it.

It’s hard, and harder still when you know most of your friends and family are taking it easy or prioritising different things.

When you reach that end goal, to have them reappear doesn’t fool anyone.

You feel taken advantage of, and you should.

Let your friend know that you’d love to catch up for a coffee or for dinner while she’s on holidays, but you already have people staying in your home (you don’t have to specify that those people are you and your husband).

Carpe diem,
Jasminda.