DEAR Jasminda,

How do you deal with people who you invite to a function with set numbers and then, on the day of the event, they say (not ask, say) they are bringing someone you’ve never met?

Lola R.

Dear Lola,

Your name suggests a free-spirited, anything goes nature – but maybe that’s just because it reminds me of that song by The Kinks.

I understand, though, how frustrating it is when you spend time catering for set numbers and then have to consider extra provisions when you’ve probably pre-organised everything weeks in advance.

Then there’s the ‘someone we haven’t met’ issue.

Often events are carefully organised with consideration to the different personalities involved.

There are some people we would invite, for example, to a classy sit-down degustation meal with matching wines, and others we would invite to a loosey-goosey karaoke night with Vodka Cruisers and hallucinogenic spinach (which seems to be all the rage at local supermarkets at the moment).

The only advice I would give is that you can’t control the actions of others.

In future, you should specify when you invite someone that you have strict numbers and it is by invitation only, not a plus-one, free-for-all situation.

I hope your evening went well and the extra person didn’t cause you too much grief.

Carpe diem, Jasminda.