DEAR Jasminda,

FRIENDS have invited us to their European Holiday video night.

We have to dress up for the occasion and then the highlight of the evening is to watch all the amazing places they have visited while we’ve been at home battling floods and COVID.

How do we get out of it without appearing rude?

Mr and Mrs Ogilvie

Oh no. It’s bad enough to see social media updates with irritating titles like ‘Day trip to Capri’ or ‘Never coming home’ without having to extend the agony with a video night.

And you have to dress up as well?

What are you supposed to wear while your hosts are flitting around with their St. Tropez tans asking if you’d like an Aperol Spritz and some Bruschetta? (that they now pronounce with an accent, even though they were only away for four weeks).

I think what your friends need is a good old reality check.

Perhaps you can repay the favour with a ‘What we did while you were gone’ themed party.

You can start the night by getting them to scoop some floodwater out of your drains, then continue on to Pin the RAT test to the bragger — a quick though slightly painful game.

Following this, serve some large bowls of ‘tastes like nothing’ soup to replicate your experience of losing not only your sense of smell and taste, but also your sanity after being cooped up in isolation.

A quick scavenger hunt with points for finding Cold and Flu tablets, boxes of tissues, dirty dishes, bed socks, unwashed pyjamas, and unpaid bills should see out the evening nicely. Finally, if they are tempted to leave, stall them by playing a ‘Recount Your Main Symptoms’ memory game, which is particularly hard with your lingering brain fog.

Dress Code: Hazmat suits.

I doubt you’ll ever have to worry about being invited to their house again,
Carpe diem, Jasminda.