‘On the couch’ with Jasminda

DEAR Jasminda,

I was recently asked to be the godparent of my best friend’s newborn.

She knows I’m not a religious person, and told me I just need to say ‘yes’ to whatever they ask me in the church.

This seems a bit dodgy.

I don’t want to insult her though.

Maureen L.

Maureen,

This really is an ethical quagmire.

You just need to say ‘yes’ to whatever they ask you?

They will ask you, depending on the religious designation of your friend, some pretty specific questions in relation to your beliefs and the way you are going to assist in bringing up the child according to that religion.

Just saying ‘yes’ seems to be a pretty unethical command from your best friend.

How, for example, are you performing the duty of a godparent if you are lying for her convenience at the first hurdle?

Surely this goes against the teachings of all religions.

I’d be saying as much, and then letting her decide whether you are the right person for the role or if she could instead have a naming day ceremony.

You could perhaps suggest that you’ll be a solid support and role model for the baby, but you can’t possibly make things up for the convenience of the service.

The fact that you are feeling uncomfortable and compromised indicates that you are a principled and honourable person.

Your friend? Not so much.

Carpe diem,
Jasminda.

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