DEAR Jasminda,

My eldest daughter is flying the coop and I am feeling empty nest syndrome.

What is the best way to deal with it, while still encouraging her independence?

Tara G.

 

Dear Tara,

There are so many different rites of passage we must navigate when it comes to children.

The first night they manage to sleep in their own bed.

The day they discover that Bluey on ABC is far more entertaining than their parents.

The first day of school, where some children cling to the gate, and others say they don’t need a lift, they’ll get on the bus, further diminishing your role, but nevertheless giving you something to gloat about on your socials: “Lucy is so independent that she caught the bus to her first day of kindergarten #proudparents #teachingthemyoung #bringingupanindependentdaughter #madeherownlunchtoo, which other parents will read, scoffing and sniggering so much they spill their morning coffee down their shirt.

Some kids are natural self-starters and others are tied to the hip.

There is no easy way to handle the transition when they first move out of home, but you can make it easier by organising a family dinner at least once a week, or meeting up near her new home for coffee, organising a few take-home meals so you’re not obsolete, and relishing in the significant reduction in washing and cleaning, as well as the food bill.

If she is leaving for a good purpose, such as starting university or moving for work, then take some solace in the fact that you have done a good job to this point.

If she’s leaving to hook up with someone who looks like Hando from Romper Stomper, then know that even if you have done a good job, most children go through a rebellious stage and generally come out the other end at some point, when it is your role not to gloat in an I-told-you-so way, but to help pick up the pieces.

Make sure you keep in regular contact and try not to be melodramatic when she leaves by throwing yourself around her ankles and begging her to take you with her.

Carpe diem, Jasminda