Dear News Of The Area,

OH hell, my first eight days of an indeterminate home detention with minimal out of habitat release for critical life support needs, commenced on the 1st April with a practical joke by a friend phoning to say she had left a carton of VB at the door for me. She had, they were empties!

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Today, the eighth, we’ll have a full moon and wedged in between on Friday, an ‘anti-vaxer’ was howling from the pulpit of parochial pandemonium magnification that “you can’t catch a virus”.

Well no doubting what movie he’s been watching in isolation confinement… ‘The Karate Kid’.

As you know in that movie the Kids’ coach is of Chinese origin and despite endeavoring endlessly, to catch a fly with chopsticks, he was unable to do so.

So, it stands the test of possible conclusion that catching a Chinese virus with chopsticks might also be a futile pursuit.

WARNING: Do not attempt to demonstrate the absurdity of the anti-vaxers pontifications by consuming bat soup from a Chinese wet market with chopsticks, nor should you use unsterilized chopsticks from a COVID19 Intensive Care Unit.

Meanwhile, I am filling in time watching and re watching replays of ‘Rocky’, but cannot get the same answer each time, on how many blows he takes to the head in his first Rocky movie. Something more useful from an exercise perspective, has been my efforts to upskill my jazz waltz capability with a laundry mop, god the mops starting to look good!

Bob Macklinshaw
Tea Gardens