DEAR Jasminda,

I’ve met a wonderful lady, but I seem to have an allergy to something in her home.

Each time I go there I develop red eyes, wheezing and sneezing.

I now have to take an antihistamine before I visit, which is not a long-term solution.

There are so many options of what it could be – plants, her beloved dog, her casual approach to cleaning and the candles and incense she burns.

How do I delicately approach this, and perhaps start to remove some of these items one by one to work out the issue via a process of elimination?

Geoff B.

 

 

Dear Geoff,

Well, this is a bit of a disaster.

You’ve finally met someone you really like, but there seems to be a few more incompatibilities that we should address.

This woman sounds to me as though she has a rather easy-going approach to life, and your process of elimination comment is a bit troubling.

If you were simply eliminating a grevillea, or perhaps avoiding her home during the height of springtime pollen production, that would be understandable.

But when you start mentioning her beloved dog in the same sentence as having a dig at her housekeeping skills, I fear that once the giddy joy of those early romantic days subsides, your world will start to crumble.

All you will be left with is a woman wearing yoga pants, chanting affirmations through clouds of sandalwood smoke, while her Burmese Mountain Dog, Clarise, licks the breadcrumbs from her plate, while you, Geoff, are in the corner in a Hazmat suit, surrounded by HEPA filters, rolling a lint brush down your pinstripe suit to remove dust mites and dog hairs.

Geoff, if my intuition doesn’t fail me – and it rarely does – I feel that the only process of elimination that will be taking place in the very near future is the elimination of you.

Chin up, though.

There are plenty of clean freaks in this world.

Maybe you just need to throw a few more keywords into your dating profile – your love of gleaming benchtops, hospital corners and cleaning between tiles with a toothbrush should filter out some of the less suitable candidates.

Carpe diem,
Jasminda.