DEAR Jasminda,

After 20 years, I still don’t like my partner coming in to talk to me when I am using the bathroom.

I feel as though this is a sacred time and space and even though we’ve seen each other in every imaginable situation, privacy is still warranted.

Madelaine R.

 

Dear Madelaine,

For me to fully comprehend your partner’s intrusion, I am trying to imagine the configuration of your bathroom.

Is it one of those all-in-one arrangements where there is a shower, vanity unit and toilet? Or is it a small, dank room with only a toilet and sink, and he feels the need to invade the only time you have to yourself?

I’m with you, Madelaine.

There are many moments of intimacy couples can share without the need to chat while one of you is perched with your pants around your ankles.

It is an unnecessary visual (and sometimes olfactory) assault that, once experienced, can’t be wiped, (unintentional pun, which is always a delightful thing to experience).

If you don’t have a lock on your door, I would suggest you get one.

This is not only helpful for intrusive partners, but also clueless children, curious cats, domineering dogs, and nosy neighbours.

If, however, he/she is just coming in to talk to you while you are showering, it just means there’s still a bit of spice left in your marriage and that is cause for celebration, rather than something to complain about.

Carpe diem,
Jasminda.