On the Couch with Jasminda

 

Dear Mrs OC,

I think the first question you need to ask yourself is whether you want to be a dedicated follower of fashion or a fashion setter. Do you want to follow the status quo like a mindless sheep, or would you prefer it if people look at you with a sense of wonderment?

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The important thing is to own your look. I mean, Lady Gaga once wore a dress made of raw beef to the MTV awards, so I guess if you want to try something new you could slap on some veggie burgers and tofu and call it ‘sustainable statement wear’

Though I haven’t worn food as an outfit, during an extreme vague out, I did wear my pyjama top to Salamander shops and unfortunately ran into several people I knew. Now if it had been a slogan-free top, I probably would have managed to get away with it, but since it said ‘Bra Off. Pyjamas On’, all I could do was stand tall, push my chest out and throw caution to the wind in a sad, I’m free to do what I want, peri-menopausal kind of way.

There are many outfits that have been fashion statements that are now cringe-worthy, but they will undoubtedly come back in eventually – shoulder pads, taffeta, fingerless lace gloves, stirrup pants, fluoro shirts, happy pants, g-string leotards – and that was just the 80s.

As someone who works from home, my dress standards have dropped to an appalling level, but I like to think I am so far ahead of trend that one day others will catch up. If you notice people wandering around Port Stephens in three-quarter trackies and Birkenstocks, or fetching Hare Krishna saris, just remember who started it. As for summer, as long as you keep away from those god-awful ripped shorts that come half-way up the buttocks and look as though you’ve been attacked by a wild boar, you’ve made a wonderful head start.

Carpe diem, Jasminda.

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