DEAR Jasminda,

Christmas is already being promoted and it’s making me stressed. I don’t have enough money to buy things for all my family members. Do you have any suggestions?

Glenda P.

DEAR Glenda,

Thanks so much for your message. Christmas is supposed to be a time to get together with friends and family, observe your faith if you are religious, and, religious or not, feel absolute contempt for Harry when he buys his hot work colleague, not his wife, a necklace in Love Actually (bastard).

Christmas is also a time when many people feel distressed due to the acute reminder that they will not be sharing the day with people they love or feel inadequate due to the pressures of marketing where everyone seems to be sitting down to a 10-course meal, expensive bon-bons and department-store gifts.

Something I find really helpful at this time of year, when expectations are high, is to ask people what presents they remember receiving for Christmas.

Many won’t remember any of them, which is a good indication of how meaningless they can be.

Many also don’t like the gifts they receive, evidenced by the huge queues at the returns counters post-Christmas. What is more meaningful is to give experiences.

In our family, we ask for an experience rather than a present.

This year, for example, I have asked my husband to clean his shed, which currently looks like a combination of a Bunnings aisle and a Running of the Bulls stampede.

This act will give me far more pleasure and make me love him more than if he gave me a present.

Think about something that each family member would love to do with you, and write a card with the experience and an expiry date (usually before the end of the following year).

I hope this helps.

Have a beautiful Christmas, Glenda.

Carpe diem,
Jasminda.