DEAR Jasminda,

My friend uses a filter when we are in photos together which makes her look completely different, but it makes me look different too.

I don’t wear a lot of makeup and yet, in photos she posts on social media, I have impeccable eyebrows, bright lipstick, and my teeth are much whiter.

I’m happy in my own skin and just want to be seen in photos the way I am in real life.

Flawed.
Lillian R.

Dear Lillian,

There was something quite fun about those early filters where everyone sported dog ears or devil horns or myriad other embellishments because we all knew they were fake (except for one ex-partner of mine whom I suspect really did have devil horns, but that’s another problem for another day).

Now, though, filters can make you look like a sultry Hollywood star complete with narrow waist, peachy complexion, and teeth so bright they glow in the dark.

With retouch tools you can erase every blemish.

The problem is that sooner or later people who use filters have to head out into the real world, or go on a date, and no amount of soft lighting is going to remove those dark shadows and crowded teeth and the bit of Duck Pad Thai stuck to your double chin.

Then there’s the other issue you’ve uncovered – the filtered by association issue – where everyone in the photo gets a glow up whether they want to or not.

This is particularly fraught when it’s a family photo and they are all genetically enhanced with dark eyeliner, perfect brows, false eyelashes and blood-red lipstick: Mum, Dad, little Johnny in his soccer gear, and Bruce the now-emasculated Bullmastiff.

Good on you for keeping it real, Lillian.

Tell your friend to stop posting pictures of you unless you approve of them or else you’ll start repaying the favour with an au naturel series.

Carpe diem,
Jasminda.